A calling

8th of August 2007
Mingan Islands

As I look to the Horizon, at the magnificence of the panorama, a group of Kayakers pass me by. I sit here on this log, looking at the Gulf of St-Laurence. The calm of morning still lingers in the air as a small group of seabirds cackle away. I can’t help but wonder as to how I got here. The stillness of the beach gets to me and calms the restlessness I feel, well, felt back home. Home… Could it really be that small apartment in Québec? I wonder…

The air smells like a far away memory, a salty promise of peace. As the sun hides away behind a cloud-covered sky, I know this will be a great day. A day filled with exploration. The unknown, opening its arms for me, the would-be explorer. Today we shall go for a walk along the coast of the Island. Discovering what this Island as to offer.

I think back at how this all started. A calling… The wide-open spaces, mountains, the horizon… I got my chance to see, smell, touch the sea. It was two days ago, even tough it feels like yesterday. Isa and me went onboard a Zodiac whale watching. This far east, the River becomes the sea. A unique blend of river and ocean, the sheer magnitude of her gripped me. As we got farther and farther, she would not let go, the coast, the air, the waves… She claimed me. My senses drank her up like a man finding water after months left in the desert. I was hers… A simple passenger, I was eager to help. We got to see whales by the plenty: Finbacks, Humpbacks and lots of Porpoise. I finally got to see, really see the gentle marine giants. I soon realized why they always called me. Why I was always fascinated by them. They are at one with the sea, free to roam her currents, free to play with her, free to just be. I always knew I loved water. Now I know, she was calling me. I finally heard her and I willingly gave her my hearth and soul.

As I just wrote my last sentence, the sun came back out, a few minutes of warmth, just a small opening in the sky, but it speaks to me loud and clear. I know now more than ever, that I found my true calling, my true love; she was in my hearth all along, screaming to get out.

Evad 07

Convention Calorifique

Cette inferno immense et pure;
Qui illuminait mes yeux parfois azure;
Ce brasier chaleureux et alimenté;
Qui vraiment me fit sentir comme un être aimé;
Ce feu encerclé d’une nuit froide et sombre;
Qui me gardait sain et sauf contre le frisson des ombres;
Ce petit feu de camps à peine nourrit;
Qui continue à me tenir médiocrement en vie;
Cette flamme brillante qui a malgré tout résisté;
Qui à l’intérieur commençait à me torturer;
Cette étincelle qui refusait à tout prix l’extinction;
Qui, par simple présence, refusait toutes autres interventions;
Cette braise latente qui s’ostinait fumante;
Qui m’aveuglait à d’autre chaleur peut-être charmante;
Cette cendre grise et morne enveloppait mon cœur;
Qui m’isolait du froid solitaire ainsi que de ses peurs;

S’est maintenant envoler, enfuit;
Me laissant nu devant le vide de la nuit;
Sans source de chaleur dans cette ennuie;
Grelottant et médusé, je réalise aujourd’hui;
Qu’il ne me reste qu’une image meurtrie;
D’un amour depuis longtemps finit;

Comment rallumer son feu qui s’est anéanti;
Pour me protéger contre le blizzard de la nuit…

Evad
fev 07

Life & Death

The white of it's black. Everything on this Eart has it's balance. Not only does Life have Death, but it also has impact. What I mean here is simple, impact on the living things around us and after us. Religion, philosophy and science all separatly tackled the question of the meaning of life. My question is why should there be? Does the bee question it's self on it's role in the big picture? Maybe it does. Every living thing on this planet has it's tools to survive, live and defend itself. We humans simply developped one systeme : Intellegence.

Intellegence gave us everything we have. We invented things to keep us warm, to defend ourselves, and ways to get our food. We slowly but surely detached ourselves from the common animal. We 'denaturalized' ourselves to ataint something. A better life style, a better quality of life etc. Why do we always ask ourselves de whys and wheres? Is it the cost we must pay to have what we now call confort? What do we have? What is so much better in us, that all else does not? Our security? We stay in our littles homes happy to be safe and warm, while all around us life simply IS.

Just BE.

Two simple words that have as much impact as you will let them. I read them in a novel some time ago and they stuck with me ever since. We worry about things that matter only because we decide that they do. Love, pain, happyness, sorrow, despair, rage, etc they all have their purpose.

Someone said to me recently : It's funny, what ever hapens, it's OK. I mean, you can always make the best of every situation.

I guest he was right. Just be. The rest is just, as a film once said : "shadow and dust..."

Evad